BREAKING| Zakhele Xulu wins World Masturbation Tournament in Canada

by on December 11, 2019

From the Springboks winning the biggest rugby tournament in the world, the Rugby World Cup, for the third time and bringing home, the Webb Ellis trophy, to the SA Netball Team through their genuine camaraderie winning the Africa Championships and a 14-year old Hlulani Baloyi getting a certificate at the African Spelling Bee competition, it has been a great time for South Africans!

It seems like the rain of victory continues on pouring in our nation as 27- year old Zakhele Xulu came first overall in the World Masturbation Tournament hosted in Ontario, Canada. The strong South African beat 14 other hopefuls from 13 nations to finally win the Johnny Sins Cup.

“I have been practicing this for years. I would spend an average of 8 hours a day, 7 days a week working towards honing my jerking skills and it finally paid off when I came,” said Xulu.

“In the early days, my dad would discourage me from doing this and he would tell me how disappointed he was as I wasn’t chasing women but instead wasting my time on demonic things but I finally made him proud when I won this for my country. Dad, your son is a star!” exclaimed the master masturbator.

Would you represent your country in such tournaments? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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